Sex Toys
Sex toys can be a
wonderful enhancement to lovemaking and a source of
truly spectacular pleasure. In this guide we identify
and review what we feel are the best toys in each category,
and link to pages where you can learn more about or
purchase them. In each case, these links are to "clean,
well-lit" places with long-standing reputations
for good customer service.
Vibrator Tips
Vibrators are fun for almost everyone,
but are especially popular amongst married women: using a vibrator
clitorally is the easiest way for most married women to reach
orgasm. Here are some basic tips for getting the most
out of your vibrator:
If you feel comfortable making a little
noise, then you'll probably find that letting yourself
moan or sigh on your exhalations will improve the whole
experience. Moving or rocking your hips rhythmically,
in time with your breathing, can also make a big difference.
If the vibrations are the right speed for you but seem
too intense, then you might try either draping a thin
cloth between your clit and the vibrator or else leaving
a light article of clothing on. You can also try moving
the vibrator to the side of your clitoris rather than
keeping your vibrator directly on it.
Just to see whether you prefer this sensation, try using
lighter pressure but moving the head of the vibrator
on your clit, rather than keeping it stationary and
using heavy pressure.
For those who want to take things to the next
level, here are some advanced vibrator tips:
If you're already comfortable moving
your hips in time with your breathing, then try squeezing
and relaxing your "PC" muscle (the same muscle
you squeeze to stop the flow of urine when you're urinating)
in time with your pelvic movements.
Many married women find that clitoral orgasms (e.g. from a plug-in
vibrator such as the Hitachi) feel especially good when
accompanied by a little penetration. The Wavy G Dildo,
the Crystal Wand, and the Kegelcisor are all popular
choices.
Some married women find they can have multiple clitoral orgasms
with their vibrator. The secret is to back off on the
pressure, keep the vibrator moving, and avoiding direct
contact with your clit until the energy builds up again.
Men can enjoy vibrators too. For men with female partners,
one obvious approach is for his partner to use a vibrator
on her clit during intercourse with him; the vibrations
will also diffuse into his penis, a sensation which
some men really like. Men can also enjoy vibrators without
a partner: this is a fundamentally different experience
than masturbating with your hand, as your penis will
be semi-hard through much or all of the experience rather
than fully erect.
If you would like to learn more about vibrators but
prefer to learn visually, then you might enjoy watching
the educational videotape Great Vibrations by Carol
Queen.
If you would like to learn more about
wife sex toys in general, then we recommend reading a copy
of The New Good Vibrations Guide to wife sex.
Anal Toys
Buddy
Our culture tends to put a lot of emphasis on intercourse,
but the best way to get started with anal play is with
either fingers or an anal toy such as this. Unlike dildos
meant for vaginal use, anal toys like this have a flanged
base so they can't accidentally slip all the way inside
you. If you want a vibrating sensation you can press
the head of a plug-in vibrator against this toy's base.
Men can tilt it forward if they want it to stimulate
the prostate gland.
Harnesses
These are toys that allow married women and men to wear a dildo
on their hips or thighs to penetrate their wife lovers with,
while leaving their hands free.
Terra Firma
This is an excellent two-strap harness, notable for
comfortably fitting people with a wide variety of hip
sizes. You'll probably want to purchase a matching dildo
to go along with it.
Thigh One On
This harness straps onto your thigh rather than around
your hips. Two partners could each wear one and slide
between each others' legs for simultaneous penetration.
Lubricants Astroglide
This is a water-based lube without Nonoxynol-9. Using
lube can help make vaginal or anal penetration of any
kind feel much better.
Liquid Silk
This is another water-based lube without Nonoxynol-9.
Liquid Silk has a slightly different feel that some
people prefer.
